academic work and parenting

A reader recently contacted me with an interesting set of questions. She?s currently an undergraduate, working toward a career as a professor in the humanities, but also hopes to find a partner and have children and ideally be home with them full-time until they?re in elementary school. And she has been realizing A) that that?s not really an option, B) that there?s a work-family problem in our culture, and C) that academic culture is maybe especially tricky. And, yes, she realizes she may be getting ahead of herself a bit ? but it?s hard not to think about this stuff as you work your butt off trying to build a particular sort of work future.

I?ll tell you some of what I said, but first: what would you say? What are your own ideas or pieces of advice and wisdom? She also asked for reading recommendations: do you have any to add to mine?

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First, some reading recs:

• Mama, PhD (see my review here)
• the first few chapters of Reshaping the Work-Family Debate (see my review here)
• A while back, I ran a series of posts on working-while-parenting by eight women, and you might get something from those personal stories; they?re linked from this introductory post.
• This study came across my radar today and made me think of your email.

But I have to tell you that I?m so totally still trying to find a way to make all this work in my own life. Eric and I had a big conversation a day before your email arrived, about when I?m going to start trying to find another job and whether it?s possible to parent the way we want if he works (if he can find a job!) and I work (if I can find a job!) and how we could possibly afford infant childcare and so forth. We don?t know. A lot of how we?ve made it work so far is by having one or both of us still in grad school until this December?lots of work, but few scheduled hours away from home, even when you?re taking courses or teaching. Also, by having one or both of us unemployed at various points. Which we didn?t choose, and which means our financial situation is not good.

I?m going to be a bummer and tell you straight out that academic culture is hostile to family life, especially but not only for mothers. This manifests in lots of ways on the job end of things, but on the family end, it?s really freaking hard-borderline-impossible to juggle a tenure-track professorship with involved and satisfying parenting (let alone stay-at-home parenting, even for a year, unless you time the birth for the beginning of your sabbatical and then also do mass quantities of research and writing during that year ? which requires childcare anyway). You could have children, be with them until they?re school-aged, and then get a PhD and go on the job market, though that?s a lot of putting things on hold and a lot of pressure on finding a partner ASAP. You could get a PhD, job, and tenure and then have children, though that involves significant risks in terms of reproductive health as you age quite a bit during that process, and you?d still need at least part-time childcare in order to do your job. You could find a partner who wants to stay at home full-time with your future children and then continue working in the intense way of early-career academics. I know these are crappy options and not terribly practical.

In any event, the structure of the academic career is based on a man who has a wife at home to take care of his home, children, and other non-brilliant-mind matters. It?s absurd, but it?s true.

The terrible state of the academic job market in the humanities is also worth considering. Obviously, some people get tenure-track jobs, but many don?t. I?d encourage you to choose a field within your discipline based on hireability rather than primarily on interest/passion if your primary goal is an academic job. You can always do research in other areas once you have tenure, if that all works out.

If you do become a professor and want a partner, you need a partner who?s willing and able to move literally anywhere in the country or you need to be willing to live separately. Sometimes spousal hiring happens, but lots of couples aren?t able to live in the same state. That obviously complicates the issue of sharing parenting labor.

I love teaching. I love talking about books and ideas. I love doing research and writing. Working as a reference librarian, I discovered that liking my colleagues and working on shared projects is fun for me. Blogging, teaching my child, being married to another scholar fulfill some of those needs. I think working in a museum or library environment would fulfill others well. My point here is that you might want to think about the specific parts of academic work that appeal to you, and then ask yourself (and others) whether there are other career paths that involve those things but are also more family-friendly, that offer the possibility of part-time work without the exploitation of adjuncting, and that have more flexible career paths. Even if you find you really want to do the faculty thing, be sure to follow resources like Versatile PhD and actively build a resume for some other type of work while you?re in grad school?just in case.

Graduate school is awesome, though! I?d totally encourage you to do the PhD if that?s what you want. Just be practical about it and don?t get too swept up in bizzaro academic culture and its idea that the only interesting work is being a professor.

The good news is that things can take shape beautifully in ways we couldn?t have planned out ahead. Who knows when you might meet a partner and what that person?s situation, resources, and ideas might be? Who knows how you?ll actually want to parent your children once they?re here? Who knows what your graduate school experience will show you? Maybe things will seem less complicated or at least less sad when they?re happening. A decade ago, I would have regarded my current situation with dismay; I find I?m actually very happy, though.

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So, dear readers. What am I missing? Where would you differ? What other options and relevant books/articles/etc. are worth mentioning?

Source: http://www.firsttheegg.com/academic-work-and-parenting/

natalie wood van halen annalynne mccord billy the kid neville neville george lucas